The Know It All
We get it! You know the answer, you always know the answer! I mean we're grateful you answer the teacher's questions before she's even done asking it to save us all the awkward silence of not knowing, but you have to be mortal enermy number one because you don't share the wealth of knowledge with the rest of us slackers. No text message, no tweet, heck no fire drill will ever distract you on your pursuit of knowledge. We'll probably all work for you someday, but don't forget to take a break every now and then, it must be exhausting knowing it all.
The Frat God
Every college classroom has its' inievitable frat lord. If you weren't sure if he was in a frat or not, go sit by him, he'll probably tell you. Often found looking sleepy and occassionally wearing sunglasses inside. But don't count this guy out-- they love college and want to stay here, so they'll do anything necessary, including keeping their grades up. Props to this guy for balancing that frat-tastic lifestyle and still showing up to class.
The Srat Star
The Frat God's female counterpart-- these sratty sistas. If you're not sure what sorority they're in check their t-shirt, or their hat, or their fleece, or their necklace, or their laptop stickers! Hey! There isn't anything wrong with being proud of those letters! You've gotta represent. And if you need help: we got you! You and all your sorority sisters planned on having the class together and are already in a GroupMe. Cram study seshes aren't so bad lounging in the comfort of your sorority houses living room. Also there's always the bonus of older members helping you on the tests and if you're really lucky TEST BANK!
Everyone will be your best friend when this class is over if you're the homie. You are always packing clickers to check people in for attendance points and you have learned how to forge all of your friends names to sign them in on the attendance sheet. You make study guides. AND YOU SHARE THEM! College kids truly do not deserve the hero that is "the homie." You've got scantrons to share and a shoulder to cry on when your friends do poorly on tests. You gon' get the grade, the girl, and the friends-- but remember, even the homie deserves a break sometimes.
Thank you, Netflix, for getting me through Biology, and Chemistry, and Statistics, and Art History, and well, life. This is the person that will definitely complain about "not knowing anything" and getting a 50% on their exams, but we all know the reason for this. They are the person posted up watching The Office, Grey's, Toy Story 3, whatever their heart desires to get their mind away from the lecture. Warning: do not sit behind this person, you will slowly but surely find yourself very enthralled in the 4th episode of season 3 of Top Chef.
The Clueless One
This is the person that everyone hopes and prays won't ask any questions, because they just. won't. get. it. We all sit and listen to the struggle of the back and forth between a professor who is "getting too old for this" and a student who is "beyond confused." If this person asks a question at the end of class, a big storms coming, because you will get out at least 10 minutes late. A message to "The Clueless One" from the rest of the class: please stop asking questions, just sit back and quietly not understand like the rest of us.
The Territorial One
Okay, there are not assigned seats in college... Try telling that to the territorial person in your class. If you sit in "their" seat they will literally just stand near the desk, hovering until you get uncomfortable enough and leave. Do not underestimate this person, they will bring a label printer and put their name on their desk and chair. We don't know why they love the seat so much, it's not our place to interfere with true love.
The first time you saw this person was the first exam day. They were late because they didn't know which room the class was in. They never come to class for one of two reasons: they 1) don't want to 2) don't have to. If you are in the 2 category, please share your infinite knowledge and power. If you are in the 1 category... join the club. This tactic works very seldom but if you can successfully maneuver not attending class, more power to you little spooky ghost!
The Class Clown
Yep. They still exist in college. The class clown that never really graduated high school and the infinite wells of attention from classmates. They are the first to crack a "that's what she said joke" during Anatomy class. We love them because they fight the professor on everything and we get to watch them battle it out, we hate them because they are usually the reason for pop quizzes and angry emails.
The Super Senior
Fourth times a charm, right? This person has been in college so long they have a bench named after them. Maybe they don't want to face the real world, maybe they really love learning, maybe they've changed their major 14 times, but whatever the reason they're still hanging out. They've been around the block and they will not be bothered. Normal attire consists of hoodies, sunglasses, and a bag of freshly popped popcorn. Hey, they're comfortable. College is their new home and they like it that way.