The 5 Stages You Go Through Watching an Episode of The Bachelorette

We've all felt these emotions while melting our brains watching reality TV...

1. SMH


The first step for everyone is denial. You look at yourself in the mirror and you say "you are too intelligent to sit and watch this woman date 25 men." You thoroughly convince yourself that you only watch it because your friends do and you're just there to socialize. You roll your eyes at the screaming girls and the "Bachelorette Brackets." I mean you don't even care if Jojo finds love, even though Ben totally told her he loved her and then broke her heart, you don't even care! But then... 

2. Awwww!


Something adorable happens! Okay, you're not thattttt cold hearted. You can't help but melt like butter when something sweet happens. The guys will hit you with those stories about their past breakups or dogs they have at home and you feel a Bachelorette shaped hole slowly fill in your heart. They sing, they dance, they compete for this woman's heart and you can't help but truly believe these people will find true love and it is true love they are after.

3. Anger

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Until some evil man ruins it! It's the guy with the girlfriend, the guy trying to promote his energy drink, the guy that is literally an evil shrew but sucks up to the Bachelorette when they are alone *cough cough Chad.* This guy will be the cunning bad guy and without fail the sweet, unassuming Bachelorette will fall for him. She'll tell Chris Harrison that she sees the real him. No, honey! We see the real him and the real him is gonna break your little heart! This guy quickly becomes the most hated man in America, but I guess any press is good press in their eyes. 

4. Consider a Professional Commentating Career


During the up and down roller coaster of emotion that is The Bachelorette, you do recognize one thing about yourself: you're a DANG GOOD commentator. This is why you literally cannot watch these shows alone because someone needs to be there to witness your genius thoughts and predictions. Everyone knows there's a crazy one and you can call who it is as soon as they step out of the limo. You will always been the first one there to say "oh no he didn't" when one of the boys call the bachelorette something mean behind her back or start chanting when the guys are about to fight. You are everyone's inner dialogue while watching The Bachelorette, but instead of keeping it to yourself you share it with the world. Lucky us. 

5. Why isn't it Monday yet?

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You don't even recognize yourself. You've found yourself actually looking forward to Mondays. The day you have known to dread from kindergarten is now something you celebrate. You make plans with all your girls Monday night and walk into work feelin' pretty great about what's waiting for you on your DVR at home. Even though you never thought you would look forward to Mondays in your life, there's nothing wrong with something to make your Mondays a little more bearable. 

Happy watching, fellow Bachelorette super fans! 


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