Finals Week As Told By The Grinch

Planning Your Week Like...

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You've probably never planned a 13 minute nap until finals week of college. We will literally take any of the sleep we can get. After three consecutive all-nighters and approximately 72 energy drinks in less than 24 hours, you will take any time asleep you can get. College kids get extremely crafty with places they can sleep: under tables at the library, on a bench in the cafeteria, elevators, you name it, college kids can and will sleep on it.

Reading Through Your Textbook Like...

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It's not that we hate learning, but it's that we hate learning the stuff we have to learn. We have to give it to college, at least we're learning some things that will help us in our future! Unlike elementary-high school where we literally learned what a parallelogram was for 15 years. Have I ever used this knowledge? No, I have not. So college, good job, we usually take at least two classes per semester that will help us in the future, but even then studying them is like watching grass grow. Sorry Isaac Newton, you seem like a great guy but I do not care to learn your laws. I mean, you didn't bother to learn my laws, which are: 1. Give me cheese dip 2. Walk away

When Your Friends Are Done With Their Finals Before You Are

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Is there a worse feeling than being the last of your friends to finish your finals? We think not! While all of your friends are getting a full nights sleep, actual food of substance, and are freshly showered, you sit there like a pile of trash ready to be taken to the dump. Having a final on anyday but the Monday of finals week means that your finals schedule SUCKS. Like how dare my professors make me stay away from the warmth and comfort of my home until freakin' THURSDAY of finals week. Somehow literally all of your friends get done with finals at the same time and you're sitting in the library not sure if you can stand up because your body has become one with the chair. 

Walking Into Your Final Like...

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It's seriously not dramatic to throw up in your mouth a little before a final. Like it happens to the best of us. You will feel like you're gonna die, but you probably won't. You and your friends will walk into the test feeling like you are going to die, you will walk out feeling like you died a million times, but the good news is, after that final YOU'RE FREE!

Walking Out Of Your Final Like...

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Sometimes all your professors can hope for is showing up. You made it here, you may not have a scantron or a pencil or any knowledge of the subject but you made it.The best part about leaving a final is that you literally never have to be in that class again. You never have to sit in that uncomfortable chair, listening to your boring teacher talking about things you don't care about... until next semester!  

When Your Finals Are FINALLY Over

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Your friends are probably wondering if you're still living because you haven't answered their calls or seen them in a week. Finals have turned you into a recluse who lives in a cave, but you're ready to make your post-finals debut! You finally showered, shaved, and spoken to someone other than a professor. You actually look kinda nice when your hair is washed and you're finally wearing a clean sorority shirt instead of an extra large shirt you stole from your dad with pits stains. People might actually view you as a human and not an amorphous blob. 

When Your Professor Won't Round Your 76.3 to an A

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When those grades come in, you understand that most of your professors have no soul. It's easy to understand not changing your 84% to an A, but professors literally act like they are saints when they round up your 89.95% to an A. Some professors just won't raise your grade, you have to understand that their hearts are just two sizes too small. Drink some hot chocolate, cuddle your pets, and open those presents because you made it. 

Sprinting Into Winter Break Like...

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You made it! You're free! Sleep for 6 days straight! You've earned it. 

 

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