Houndstooth's Declassified Spring Party Survival Guide

Most large universities have crazy spring parties, and we're here to help you get through them in one piece. Whether you're going to Row at Arkansas, RoundUp at UT, OSU's Calf Fry, or Hayseed at Ole Miss, you've got quite the weekend ahead of you. This will either be the best or worst weekend of your life.

This party is one of the biggest events of the year, and you need to be prepared. Don't worry, we've learned the ropes and we're going to share our wisdom with Houndstooth's Declassified Spring Party Survival Guide!

Tip #1: Ask guys for bands weeks in advance

Not Asking Ned

Nobody wants to be the girl that starts begging for bands in November. But do you know what's even worse than that? Being the girl who doesn't get into the party. Now is the time to be shamelessly thirsty. You can't count on your friends in fraternities to save bands for you out of the goodness of their hearts. They'll have people knocking down their door to get them, and you better be first in line. Don't worry about being desperate, just get ahead of the game to make sure you aren't left out! FOMO is too real to sit at home this weekend. 

Tip #2: Prioritize!

List Your Tasks Meme

Once you stockpile all the bands you inevitably landed, it's time to pick which parties you actually want to go to. Chances are there will be parties starting by noon and going past midnight. Unless you're superhuman, there's no way you can hang that long. It's also possible that different concerts will overlap. Once again, unless you're superhuman, you can't be in two places at one time.This means you have to pick and choose which concerts are most important to you. If you're choosing between Drake and Nickelback, the decision shouldn't be that difficult. Unfortunately, that probably won't be the case. This is a potentially heart breaking process, so think long and hard! Once you decide, be a pal and give your other bands to girls who weren't smart enough to nail one down in advance. This is honestly a win-win. They can go to the party, and they owe you practically whatever you ask for, whether that be their first born child, a sorority T-shirt, or just a gift card to Sonic.  

Tip #3: Plan out your day

Stressometer

How are you getting from Point A to Point B? Do you have a list of pledge drivers? Who are you going with? Where is your group meeting up? What are you wearing? Have you found a fanny pack without your letters on it? If you figure out your weekend before hand, it will save you a whole lot of stress on a day that should be focused around having fun. Make the decisions while you're still able to make them, if you know what I mean. 

Tip #4: Drink Water

Ratchet Ned

You don't want to look like this after 3 hours. I promise you'll want to look back at these pictures in 20 years when you're an old boring alum, and they'll be much more gratifying if you look decent. And alive. Trust me. Water. These weekends are a marathon, not a sprint, so just take it easy! And drink some water. Hydrate or diedrate yanno. 

Tip #5: Don't wear anything you don't want your boss to see

Ned Piercing

If there's a right time to dress a little wild, it's for the spring party. Just don't forget that there will be pictures of this weekend plastered all over social media, and both your grandma and future boss will see. I'm not sure which one you should be most afraid of. If you're not sure what to wear, a fraternity jersey is always a safe bet! Bring on the greek letters sharpied all over every inch of visible skin and a head full of cornrows. Maybe just avoid T-shirts drenched in profanity and bucket hats printed with pictures of illegal substances. These suggestions seem obvious... but you'd be surprised.

Tip #6: Don't try to hang out with the rappers

Cookie Thug

It doesn't matter how often you kill it on the aux or how good you think you look on stage. You can't hang with a millionaire rapper, so just don't try. Climbing on stage always feels like the move, but it truly never is. Even if you're fire on the aux at every college bar on the strip, you can't go up against a famous rapper. Again, this weekend is about to go viral on social media.... Don't let it be your fault. Try not to let the video with 50,000 shares be of you getting dragged off the stage by bouncers. Let it be anyone else. 

Tip #7: Have fun!

Cookie Dancing

Enough said. 

You'll have a great time at whatever spring party you go to! Just make sure to prepare for the weekend, or it will feel something like this: 

Coconut Head Demolished

 

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