Your Aunt Jan means well, she really does, but sometimes adults just don't understand the things college kids hate talking about with their relatives! We love our families and we love the holidays but being together for long periods of time often produces questions like the following... Questions no college kid wants to be asked.
GREAT QUESTION! That none of us have the answer to. Trust me, this question follows us around like a creepy stalker. There's like a million people on campus, someone's gotta wanna date this, right?? Hey there's no shame in the single game, remember this when your family criticizes your relationship status.
"She's going to move on and find someone else if you don't ask her soon!" Ring by spring is probably one of the most terrifying things for a college senior with a serious girlfriend or boyfriend. It's not because we don't wanna all get married and live happily ever after, but like telling someone you want to spend everyday of the rest of your life with them isn't something to take lightly, and it doesn't help to have your grandmother all but proposing for you.
And Aziz Ansari's description of marriage is a little too real for us to make that jump quite yet...
3. "What're your plans for the future?"
Great question, Uncle John! My plans for the future are to eat my weight in turkey and mashed potatoes and try and forget my declining GPA and the fact that I have zero actual plans for my life! Remember adults, we're just trying to survive our college years and what happens after that is a mystery to us all!
*Starts crying* This question is a real kicker. How's school? How does one answer this? Do we go the honest route: I haven't eaten anything that can't be made in the microwave all semester, I've slept eight hours in the last three nights? Do we freak our family out with these terrifying but true facts? Or do we fake it til we make it? "School is great! My grades are great! Friends are great! I'm eating great! Perfect! Couldn't be better!"
Lol kind of! Are you Aunt Janice? How many friends have you made lately? College is a great place to meet friends, but the pressure of making friends can be a lot sometimes. Hey, you know what they say, quality over quantity, right?
Your mom's sly way of slipping in the fact that they Freshman 15 has caught up with you! Of course your mom still thinks you're the cutest girly in all of the land, but if she's the one buying your jeans, she doesn't want to have to buy all new ones. But always remember, you're beautiful no matter how much macaroni changes your physique!
"Great! Him and his new girlfriend seem really happy together!" Your favorite topic of conversation at a family dinner: the happiness of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. There may not even be any hard feelings, but WOW you do not want to talk about that. This is one of those times you can see how many mashed potatoes you can fit in your mouth, and then no one will wanna talk to you. #Solutions
Or pretty much any pop culture term. The only thing we want to teach you is how to use Google so you can look these things up for yourself. And TBH (to be honest, you're welcome!) we barely know what the "whip" and "nae nae" are. Honestly, you're probably a lot better off not knowing what these things are because there will be something new in about .5 minutes. (It kind of looks like this... but also not at all.)
Because I have 5,000 sorority T-shirts! And I plan on have 10,000 more by the time I'm out of college and I love them and they mean everything to me! But for real, comfort is KEY. We buy our t-shirts three sizes too big so we can eat all six pumpkin pies and no one will notice our food baby. Speaking of t-shirts, if you want to get your college kids the perfect Christmas present... We have some ideas. ;) you can thank us later.
NO! Let's talk about pie! Pie only. Let's watch the Macy's Day Parade and shove our mouths full of so many rolls that we can't even talk! Let's bring out old picture albums and reminisce on my bangs and braces phase in 2008 (rough). Point is, we love you guys and we don't want to waste our time arguing and disagreeing. And if politics do come up, turn on "Hello" by Adele and everyone will forget their differences and come together as one to belt and cry to Adele.
Never forget. We love you, fam. And we can't wait to be back home ballers! But we wouldn't mind avoiding these topics at dinner!