We Hate Valentine's Week as Much as Michael Hates Toby

Valentine's Day is bad enough for all of us single folk.... but somehow the following days are even worse. There's something disgusting about the lingering smell of dying flowers and half eaten chocolates, but nothing beats the cringy, sappy Valentine's Day pics that keep popping back up on our Instagram feed. The only thing that sucks more than V-Day is.... well, the rest of the week. 

When all the gals in the srat house are munching on their heart shaped chocolate

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Forget chocolate. You don't need that crap. Go get some cheese balls instead and eat your sorrows away. What your cheese balls lack in love, they make up for in independence. You don't need a Valentine to shower you in gifts, you can treat yo'self. With a bottomless jar of cheese balls from Walmart. 

When you wake up the next day and realize you still don't have flowers by your bed

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Yeah, it kinda stinks when you don't receive flowers on February 14. But it doesn't stink nearly as much as it would to have a dead, rotting, bug-infested plant stewing in filthy water less than a foot from your pillow. Are flowers really as romantic as they seem? Maybe not.

When your mom asks how your week is going

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Accurate. 

When all the cheesy couples call each other "baby" on social media

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And so are you. Who even wants to be called baby anyway? That's not a compliment. Babies are smelly, illiterate, and drool constantly. Hopefully none of you are dating somebody with a single one of these qualities. And if you are.... well, you got what you deserved this Valentine's Day: ruthless judgment of your Insta captions. 

When your grandma asks if you'll ever settle down and date somebody

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Back off, grandma. We're all doing our best, okay? 

When your house mom asks if you should be eating something more nutritious for breakfast

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The answer is NO. It's no secret that ice has numbing capabilities, and you're going to utilize them. Ice cream can erase the pain of heart break and self pity, everybody knows that. Ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every time is the right time for ice cream during Valentine's week. 

When it's been a week and you're still drowning in self pity

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We all wish that Valentine's Day was like ripping off a band-aid-- excrutiating, but short lived pain. Unfortunately, it's more like breaking a femur. Excrutiating pain, then prolonged agony. You have to spend the next 5-7 days enduring the aftermath of the worst holiday of the entire year. The lovey-dovey couples pics will be all over your news feed for what seems like years. Maybe it's safest just to stay off social media for a while...

While it's hard to watch everybody else fall in love and brag about their happiness, you honestly wouldn't trade places with them. Valentine's week is a hard time to be single, but in the grand scheme of things, being independent is actually super awesome! College is the perfect time to enjoy being on your own, so live it up! Don't let Valentine's week get you down, just treat yo'self with some cheese balls and ice cream. Soon enough, the sappy pics will disappear from your news feed and your love of the single life will be back to normal. 

 

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