Guide to Sorority Mom's Weekend as told by Mean Girls

Guide to Sorority Mom’s Weekend

Your mom is in town for the weekend. This can be a very good thing or quite the rain on your parade. Even if you are dreading it there are ways to make this weekend one of the best. There’s no reason that this weekend has to be a drag or mistake. Embrace your mother coming! She gave you the gift of life, she is the reason why even exist as a struggling college student, who drinks way too much coffee. Take it in stride. Let this weekend be one of bonding with the one woman who brought you into this Earth. There’s a fat chance she probably sends you care packages and pays your dues too. She also worried about you every day and is the one that actually cares when you call to complain about how annoying your lab partner is. Your mom is dedicating a whole weekend of her life to spend just with you! RELISH in the attention!

 

Grocery Shopping

Your mom is the one person on this Earth, besides your Grandma, that really, REALLY, cares that you consume three times a day. She wants to make sure that you are eating three, square meals a day. With the right amounts of fruit and vegetables. LET HER shower you with nurture. Let her take you down the street to the nearest grocery store and buy you an insane amount of food. SHE WILL PAY FOR ALL OF IT.  She won’t buy you the off brand of coffee for your Keurig, she will get you Dunkin Donuts brand. She will buy you all the cheez-its you want, and will probably pack lots of vegetables on top. You will not have to worry about having any groceries for the next two weeks. Plus, you will not be the only mother+child duo wandering the aisles of Walmart. You are bound to catch some friends and acquaintances wandering the aisles as well.

Nails

If this is not something you usually ever do, then this shall be no exception. But let’s face it, manicures and pedicures are expensive. Something that probably is not in your budget with your nightly Taco Bell runs. Your mom would love to get your nails done with you. You could use a free manicure. WIN-WIN situation. This time, you can indulge in shellac or acrylic nails and get the full treatment. This time when your nail technician asks “You want design? Only five dollars more?” You can say yes. Your mom is footing the bill after all.

Meet your Friends

Your mom would love to meet the people who are your stand in family in college. The people that are always on your Instagram and Facebook that she only knows through pictures, and through the various stories you’ve told her. Such as “Annie from biology” and “Callie from chapter.” You could all meet up at the sanctioned event your sorority is hosting, or you can all grab dinner one night. (YOUR MOM IS PAYING!) Maybe your mom will get along with other girl’s moms and your best friend’s moms can all become a SQUAD.

Shopping

This is a HUGE bonus. When your mom has not seen you in a while she is more than willing to pour into you and your closet. Normally would she buy you an extremely over-priced blouse from a store for absolutely no reason? Probably not. NOW IS YOUR CHANCE. She will be ready to hand over her little plastic card of awesomeness. She probably even wants to. What a treat. Take her up on this. Take her to wherever your heart desires, now is your chance to not be staring at your closet aimlessly when it’s time to go out, because you “posted a picture in that top 45 weeks ago.”  Most local boutiques know when its mom’s day, and even have deals running! Run fast and run in full force, quick before other mom’s and daughters grab up your size!

Show Her Your Cool Spots

Your mom would love to go to different cool and hip spots in your college town. Probably so she can post on her facebook that she is still in touch with her college side. She might even try that hipster coffee shop neat, or your favorite burger place with dollars taped to the wall. Again, BONUS, she will pay!! She will probably enjoy it because you enjoy it. Even if she does not like the dive bar near campus she will probably pretend that she does. (SHE WILL PAY!)

Take Her Out

If you and your mom are quite daring, social gals then this one might be for you. Take your mom out to experiences night life. She might struggle with it being so late if her bed time is pre ten o’clock, but one night isn’t going to kill her. She might enjoy meeting new people and having a night on the wild side. Hey, who knows maybe y’all might run into your crush from last semester. What a better pick up line then, “Hey! This is my mom?” Okay… maybe not. But again your mom will cover the costs for the night… BARTENDER!!!

Clean

This might be a stretch for some. But I am pretty sure it’s in mother’s DNA to clean, sanitize, and organize for their offspring. I am guessing your standard of living might be lower than your mom’s and she will not be able to help herself but to clean it. You might hear her barking orders for an hour or so but it’ll be worth it. Your apartment/dorm/house will have never sparkled quite like it does after your mom comes to town. Bonus points if she does your laundry!