A Definitive Ranking of the Disney Princes as Potential Boyfriends

Every little girl dreams about a Disney Prince or two (or nine, nobody is judging). The Princes are every girl's first impression of love, whether that's good or bad. In some cases the Princes set unrealistic expectations for how a boyfriend should act. In others, they show girls exactly what kind of dudes to steer clear of (cough cough Prince Ferdinand...lameeee). While every Disney Prince has his pros and cons, we've put together a definitive ranking of the Princes as potential boyfriends. 

9. Prince Ferdinand

Ferdinand

It's a no from me, pal. If a dude like Prince Ferdinand asks you out, don't even accept a first date. There are several issues with this guy, so let's begin. First of all, he never even introduces himself. I mean that's just bad manners. Nobody knows his name until the credits roll out. There are lots of dangers in not knowing the identity of your date: you can't stalk his facebook, your rommates don't have sufficient information for the police if you go missing, and you can't doodle your future name in your notebook. But to be fair, "Mrs. Prince Ferdinand" doesn't sound that appealing anyway. Second, he's clearly wearing makeup. Nobody has strawberry colored lips naturally, we've all prayed for them. This pal is sporting some top of the line lip stain. It's generally understood that your boyfriend shouldn't be prettier than you. Sorry, Snow White, but you've really snagged yourself a loser. Prince Ferdinand is last place, no question. 

8. Prince Charming

Prince Charming

This dude is arrogant af. Who has the balls to call himself "Charming"? Giving yourself a superlative is lame. Being unable to come up with anything better than charming is lamer. PLUS if being charming is all you have to offer, nobody is interested. Sorry buddy, but the bar has been raised. Ladies these days have moved on to bigger and better things than a nice smile and above average manners. Now we want all of those things plus a brain. Which Prince Charming clearly doesn't have, seeing as how he couldn't pick Cinderella out of a line up if his life depended on it. Boy byeeeee. Keep the shoe.

7. Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Let's be honest, the only reason Prince Eric made it this far was because of his dog. Without it, he's pretty much useless. Well except for the eyes. And that jawline. Also he's fit af (note the scene of him sprinting down the beach) and looks great in a wet T-shirt. So I take it back, he is well deserving of number 7. Now that we've covered his nice qualities, let's chat about why he's sorta lame. The douche bag let Ariel give up her entire life to follow him around. Prince Eric represents the death of feminism. That's reason enough to cut him loose. Bye Eric, thanks for playing. Tell your dog hi for me. 

6. Prince Naveen

Prince Naveen

Things are about to get a little shallow. Prince Naveen is hot and rich, and he sure aint afraid to show it. He throws money around like candy, and look at that sparkle in his smile. Yum. Still, he spent half the movie as a slimy frog. Yuck. 6 for you, Naveen. Nice work for an amphibian. Moving on.

5. Aladdin

Aladdin 

Aladdin, your classic bad boy. Guys like Aladdin are the reason your parents created a curfew and told you not to get on a motorcycle behind a boy. If you didn't have a crush on Aladdin as a kid, you're a big fat liar. Just look at that smile! Granted, that hat is absolutely ridiculous, but his hair still looks great so I guess it's fine. Like Prince Eric, Aladdin gets some extra points for his little pet monkey, Abu. He's clever, sneaky, and clearly very intelligent. Aladdin, not the monkey. Though I guess the description still fits. Aladdin's also a lying schemer. While Aladdin will show you a real good time (magic carpet ride, probably a great kisser, etc.), he may also be the reason you end up in jail. Daddy most definitely will not approve. Plus, we want a guy with a stable, reasonable job. Robbing fruit markets just isn't gonna cut it. Luckily for Aladdin, the grungy hipster look is in. If it wasn't, he'd be considered nothing more than an unshowered miscreant. Timing is on his side here. Still, if the genie only gave me three wishes, Aladdin wouldn't quite make the cut. Enjoy number 5, pal. 

4. Flynn Rider

Flynn Rider

Just look at him. His face alone should earn him a spot at number 4. He's got that sarcastic smirk, big brown doe eyes, and luscious hair. Like Aladdin, Flynn Rider has wit and charm on his side. Also similarly to Aladdin, Flynn Rider is a major lying douche bag. But like.... look at him. Truthfully, Flynn Rider's credentials pretty much match up with Aladdin's across the board. But the fact that he wasn't knowingly interested in a princess helps him out a little (Aladdin is most definitely a gold digger). Honestly, Flynn wasn't really interested in Rapunzel at all for the majority of the movie. He is an independent guy with ambition and drive for more than just being a panty dropper. Still, he couldn't help falling for Rapunzel when it was all said and done, so we know he's got a soft spot. 4 for you, Flynn Rider. Keep doin your thing. 

3. Prince Adam (aka the Beast)

Prince Adam

Prince Adam is the definition of a diamond in the rough. Somehow he's even hotter after being the beast. His big blue eyes, cut jawline, thick manly brows, and scrumptious lips are an unexpected treat after being accustomed to a growling, ruthless beast. Before Belle knew what a babe he was, she already got comfortable in his giant, plush, rich palace and beautiful ball gowns. Nobody can be mad about that living situation, especially when you get to stay there willingly (lol). While the Beast was a little harsh at the beginning, he warms up and shows his true heart of gold. Belle, you lucky jerk. We'd all be lucky to snag a Prince Adam. He's still got that bad boy vibe without being a raging maniac. Every girl's dream. 

2. Li Shang

Shang

First things first, Li Shang isn't even a prince at all, he's a captain. Which is infinitely more appealing than a prince, because in order to be a captain you need some actual skills. Which Shang undoubtedly has. He fights like a champ, trains wimpy dudes into fearless warriors, and takes no shit. Shang is the ultimate bad ass, which is completely different from being a bad boy. Shang is a MAN. Also, the man bun is so in right now. These Disney animators clearly have an eye for nice bone structure; this guy is cut like glass! Shang's biggest downfall is his tendency to be a little (or a lot) sexist. By the end of the movie, he learns to respect Mulan and appreciate her abilities. He came around, so we'll cut him some slack and honor him with number 2. 

1. Prince Phillip

Prince Phillip

Prince Phillip has a lot of good things going for him. Starting with his hair; look at that swoop! We'll pretend like he's naturally beautiful, although we all know guys like him use more hair product than any girl in the universe. But he looks great, so we'll let him have this one. Also the jawline. That one does come naturally. Prince Phillip is working with some pretty great genes. On top of his looks (10/10), he also has a pretty great personality. When Sleeping Beauty was singing in the forest, he was enthralled with her voice. Clearly he has a deep appreciation for the arts, and we all love a cultured man. Brownie points for Phillip. If you thought that was as good as it gets, you were wrong. He's not even a little bit superficial or shallow, like we'd expect from a Prince who practically poops money. Phillip wanted Sleeping Beauty when he thought she was a little peasant girl! You go Prince Phillip. Don't forget about his cute but magnificent horse, because by now we know that a nice pet adds a few points. OH! And he fights like a boss. Any guy who can wield a sword like that is worth your attention. You slay, Prince Phillip. Literally and figuratively. Prince Phillip is our clear winner.

 

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