Inner Monologue While Taking a Test

Okay, I've got this! I was born for this.

You start out pretty confidently. You've made it all the way to college, you've been preparing for this moment your whole life. You definitely skimmed the study guide and paid attention in class when you weren't on Pinterest. 

Maybe I should've studied a little more.

Okay, so maybe I spent all of my time on Pinterest during this class. Well, I personally blame the teacher, why would they let me, an infant child, loose on a computer while I'm supposed to be learning?! It's like keyboarding from Junior High, we're obviously all playing Oregon Trail and not practicing typing. 

Maybe I should've studied at all.

I'm seriously going to start listening in class. And okay, I guess I didn't exactly studied, I mostly scrolled Instagram with an open text book on my lap. Why am I the way that I am?! I have all the regrets.

Frantically Asks Everyone Around Them If They Studied

If other people haven't studied then you didn't have to study either. You overhear people talking about definitions of words you've never heard in your life. They probably over studied... Overstudying isn't good either. It's better to get a good night's sleep! Okay, I went to bed at 3 AM but that's Netflix's fault. There's gotta be at least one person in this class that's gonna do worse than me. That's all that matters. As long as I'm not the worst.

Please, Professor, forget to give me a test! Let my appendix burst right now! Anything but taking this test!

Can you see it in my eyes, Professor? I'm begging you to hear my cries and just give me a break on this one exam. Like doesn't it look good on your part if your students do well in your class? You must be such a good teacher if all of your students are getting A's! Wouldn't that be fun for everyone?

We have NEVER talked about that.

I may not listen but I would remember if we talked about that. I'll just skip and come back, I'll know it once I come back because that's the magic of skipping and coming back... right?

I've already had 3 C's in a row... it can't be another C... or can it?

This is every students worst nightmare. Actually our worst nightmare would be a teacher that is evil and makes the answer to every question "A." I think that might be an actual nightmare I've had before. You just have to mix it up. Three or more of a letter in a row, there's gotta be something wrong. Either my teacher is evil or I am stupid and I'm definitely not stupid.

It's okay if I don't get a degree. 

I know I always jump to the worst conclusions when I do badly on a test, but honestly Bill Gates dropped out of college, I can too. I mean I know he dropped out of an Ivy League school and I'm dropping out of my state college, but still. It's the same idea. I'll find a job! Like a good one! People might actually like me better without my degree. 

Maybe my parents will take me back in?

I should've probably texted my mom back this morning because I might need to move back in with her. Right after this test I'll call her crying, moms can't resist their crying children... actually, come to think of it, better call dad. He's not gonna leave his failure of a daughter out in the cold. Wow, I miss my parents!

Okay, like 10 people have finished. That means I can be done too.

You wanna get done early, but not too early. If you get done too early then that means you went too fast and you're going to miss easy points and you're going to have to drop out. Going too slow means that you are not going to finish and you're going to miss points for not finishing and you're going to have to drop out. Get done at the perfect time. That's key. 

That wasn't too bad.

Maybe I was a little dramatic, that really wasn't that bad. I definitely got at least a B. Way dumber people have taken that class and done fine! I'm smart! I'm capable! It's common sense! 

*gets 58*

I don't wanna talk about it. 


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