Phases of Being Late to Class as Told by Kim K

Kim Sleeping

This is you sleeping through your alarm. Bummer. 

Kim Really Happening

This is you when you wake up and realize you're already 8.5 minutes late to class. And still in bed, which is 15 minutes walking distance from the classroom. Is this a dream? This can't be reality. You pinch yourself to try to wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately, this is all too real. You throw yourself out of bed, scramble to put on clothes without forgetting any necessary undergarments, and lick some toothpaste because there OBVIOUSLY isn't time to brush your teeth this morning. Sorry everyone.

Kim Shit

This is you when you remember that you have a quiz in the class that you aren't currently in. Immediate tears and panic. Your mom is gonna kill you. You're already grappling for a B in this class because you may or may not have forgotten to study for the midterm. You even studied for this quiz!!!!!!! The ONE time you're actually prepared for this class, and you sleep through it. The universe is so unfair. Trying to be responsible isn't even worth it, might as well just give up now.

Kim Finger Guns

This is you when you get stuck walking behind some slow diva on her phone. Things are about to get ugly. It's rare that your inner savage comes out to play, but today it's inevitable. You have somewhere to be and nobody is gonna get in your way. Especially not this chick texting three different boys (they all have frat letters after their contact names... who is surprised) without looking up. If you get lucky she'll wander into oncoming traffic and get out of your way. JK. Kinda. Until that happens, you just aggressively step on the back of her heels as a not so subtle hint to hurry her butt up. You're gonna make it to this quiz if it's the last thing you do.

Kim Shhh

This is you trying to sneak into the back of the auditorium. You give a glare that could wither a person's soul to every kid who turns around and reacts to your late entrance. If anyone calls too much attention to your arrival, your professor will 1. humiliate you in front of the entire class and 2. not let you take the quiz that everyone else has started. These kids better play it cool and have your back. They do not want you as an enemy. Some girl in the front just tipped off your professor. Oh no. Here it comes. 

Kim Feel Bad

This is you when your professor yells at you in front of everyone. You try to hold yourself together, but it's just not possible. Your grasp on your emotions is a little weak today, and you just have to let it all out. This is the most embarrassing thing in the entire world. Go ahead and give up all hope with that cute boy on the 3rd row now. He's gonna think you're pathetic, emotional, and crazy. On the plus side, your tearful break down terrified your professor and possibly even elicited some sympathy. He hands you a quiz and tells you to do your best with the time you have left. Here goes nothing. Wipe your nose on your sleeve and pull yourself together!

Kim Let God

This is you when you start your quiz with 6 minutes left in the class period. It's out of your hands now, and you just have to hope for the best. You made it here and the stress is almost over. You've just gotta jot down as much as you possibly can about economic development in South America and call it a day. Say a couple prayers and let what happens happen. There's nothing more you can do!

Kim Crying Ksusupc

This is you when you turn in your quiz and walk out of the classroom. A wave of relief washes over you and you try to hold back tears of relief. A massive burden just lifted from your shoulders. Every muscle in your body has been tensed since the second you opened your eyes. At this point, it doesn't matter that your professor probably hates you and cute 3rd row boy thinks you're psycho. You made it through this terrible morning and it's time to schedule a massage. Go you!


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