You came to college to get an education, but you may have developed some skills that don't relate to your major. Here are some of the most useful skills you'll learn that have nothing to do with chemistry or calculus:
There's something about college that turns 18 year olds back into toddlers again. You've never needed an afternoon nap more than you do right now. Unfortunately, you don't always have time to run back to doze in your cozy bed. Instead of wasting 15 minutes of valuable nap time going home, you find somewhere convenient on campus to pass out. By November of freshman year, you'll be able to sleep just about anywhere. You can ptfo in class, on public couches, tables in the library, benches, staircases, and even the sidewalk.
Lowering Dinner Expectations
In high school (if you were lucky), you would walk in to dinner on the table every night at 7:30 on the dot. Unfortunately, college is a little bit different. Your mom isn't there to make sure you get 3 square meals a day that include every food group. And dessert. Meals (and life in general tbh) are slightly less balanced once you move out of your parents' house. You no longer expect a 4 course meal, McDonalds will do. Or Taco Bell. Or Pizza Hut. Name a fast food restaurant, and it will probably make the cut. You learn how to be content with less. Cheap, greasy burgers do the trick!
You used to make fun of your mom for pulling out her wad of coupons in line at the grocery store, but now you completely understand. In college, there's no judgment for holding up the line trying to sort out your discounts for shampoo or peanut butter. Everyone is on the same budget (approximately $0). You'll quickly become the coupon King/Queen. You snatch the free papers at the student union and clip the coupons, download all the discount apps for college campuses (Pocket Points, Hooked), and scour the internet for a list of businesses that give student discounts. Groupon is your new best friend. Now call your mom and apologize for being a judgmental jerk when you were 12.
Is there a drought? IDK, but water conservation is always encouraged in college. By this I mean less showers. Sorority life is honestly just a competition to see who can go the longest without washing their hair. 4 days is the average, 8 is the max. You're really just caring for the environment- who can judge? Going green is in style. So is dry shampoo.
You've always been amazed at your mom's skill for multitasking. Where did she learn how to do so many things at once??? College. You quickly learn how to do 2 valuable things simultaneously: watch Netflix and look remotely interested in what your professor has to say. This is most effectively done by wearing your hair down to cover the earbud in your left ear, glancing up at 15 second intervals to make brief eye contact with your professor, and texting your friends from the messaging app on your Mac. That way it looks like you're just taking notes. You'll be able to squeeze in a whole season of the Office in just 2 weeks of class time!
Sweet Talking Your Way into a Doctor's Note
In college, everyone learns how to summon their inner Ferris Bueller. Everyone has that one professor that requires a doctors note. Surprisingly, not everyone will accept an email that says "Sorry I don't feel good" as a valid excuse for missing class. Bummer. After hours online learning how to fake symptoms of the flu, strep throat, the common cold, or mad cow disease, you're ready to weasel your way into a doctors note. If you're looking for an easier method, date someone whose mom or dad is a doctor. Easy peasy. Or you could just date a doctor!! Even better. Free doctors notes out the wazoo.
It's not bribery.... just strategic exchanging of food for homework. Don't have time to finish your online homework for Elementary Spanish? Offer up some home made cookies or sonic, and you'll be good to go. Aren't going to make it to your 8:30 on Friday? Offer the kid that sits next to you a box of donuts for signing you in. Fool proof.
College is a time to learn and develop skills that will be useful for the rest of your life. You expected to learn a lot of science and math and literature, but there are some unexpected lessons along the way!